Thanks to Halls Writing Forum, Edmund Hall, Oxford for the feedback. Tempo Challenge.
“Now we descend – Sonja Mesher
There was something very simple but also with an air of melodrama in this I felt, ‘scratching words in time’ is such a great phrase, and it seems to have both a simplicity and a hugeness – I’m not really sure which but I like how unsure I am about it! Also effective use of enjambment and punctuation to create hesitancy as well as tempo”
we are hand writing, at the table
fire lit, radio playing. scratching
words in time, rhythm comes
naturally, birds beat the window,
cold now, little feathers hoping
we now descend into darkness,
curtain drawn into night,
mistakes crossed, all can see
the errors ,the blots,that soak
the skin, the stain within.
i am hand writing.